The First Time
by preciselypotter
Summary: When she opened her eyes, Lily nearly screamed aloud as she saw a face hovering close to her own. As it was, she flinched away before remembering where she'd fallen asleep. (one-shot)


The First Time

When she opened her eyes, Lily nearly screamed aloud as she saw a face hovering close to her own. As it was, she flinched away before remembering where she was.

James jerked away, sitting up with an expression of hurt and confusion behind his glasses.

"Sorry, I –"

"No, it's fine," she whispered. "I just… I forgot."

"Forgot?" The hurt had traveled from his eyes to his voice.

She shook her head and made to sit up, but on second thought clutched the sheets closer to her chest. "I meant I was disoriented. It's alright."

He frowned at her. "You sure, Evans? You look a bit… nervous."

Lily bit her lip. "Not nervous. Well, maybe nervous. I don't know. How are you supposed to feel after… that?"

"Don't ask me, I've never done this before," he said with an awkward shrug.

"You haven't?"

"Nah," said James, looking a little shy – something rare and, to Lily, unexpected. "Er – how… did I, er –"

"Fine!" she said, her voice an octave too high. "It was fine! You were fine."

He grinned. "Yeah?"

She blushed. "Yeah. …Potter, was I –"

"Oh, yeah, you were _brilliant_, I mean… you were… I liked it."

Lily didn't know what to do with herself. She felt awkward just _lying_ there, naked under James' sheets (and feeling even more naked because they belonged to him) while he was sitting up and dressed in warm-looking pyjamas. What she wanted was to ask James for his shirt, but… they weren't dating, and for all of what they'd done the night before it felt too intimate a request.

Instead she decided to scoot to the edge of the bed and poke her hand out to feel around for her things that presumably were on the floor. James caught her wrist lightly.

"What're you doing?"

"I feel silly," she explained embarrassedly. "I'd like to put something on."

"Don't," he said.

Lily flushed what must have been a deep red at his intense gaze. "Potter –"

"Please," he added. "Just for a few minutes."

She nodded; how could she not, the way he was looking at her? All of her was warm and tingly under his gaze and she felt… she felt…

She supposed she felt _different_, like Mary had said she would feel. Like something was changed but she couldn't put her finger on it. It was a _good_ sort of different though. Lily liked the feeling of lazy satisfaction in her belly, even if the rest of her was nervous and unsure.

After a minute or so, Lily sat up, still clutching the sheets to her chest. Despite what they'd done last night she still had an inexplicable need to remain modest in front of James. Perhaps it was because they'd done… _it_ in the dark, where they couldn't really see what was happening between them, just _feel_…

Lily knew she was blushing horribly.

"Please stop staring," she muttered.

"Sorry, I… sorry." James looked around the bed, trying to figure out what else to put his eyes on. His gaze landed on her legs. "Are you alright down there?"

"_What?_"

"Er…" He was all red in the face. "Sirius says that when a girl loses it, it hurts. I was just wondering…"

"Oh!" Lily nodded at twice the normal speed. "No, I'm fine. I mean, it did hurt at the beginning there but then it was… and now I'm just a bit sore. That's all."

"Oh… that's good, I suppose."

She giggled involuntarily. "Why is that good?"

"Dunno." James kept his gaze low and reached out to her tentatively. His fingers began drawing circles on her foot through the sheets. It tickled but in the nicest way. After a while he added, "Evans… I was wondering… why did you, er –"

"Ask you to?" Lily was convinced that her face would never go back to its normal color again. "I… well, Rachel kept going on about how she and Freddie had done it and how much more _special_ she was to have lost it, and Mary told her she wasn't that special anyway but Rachel wouldn't shut up about it and I was so sick of hearing so I thought, well, if _I_ lost it she wouldn't have anything to brag about and… it sounds so shallow now that I'm saying it out loud. Am I shallow?"

James shrugged, his fingers still dancing on the ball of her foot. "I mean, that's sort of how it is with boys, isn't it? It's not that different."

Lily wasn't sure boys and girls were the same about… _sex_ (she could barely even _think_ the word), but she nodded.

"And I guess… I knew if I asked you, you'd say yes."

"Guess you were right about that."

A thought struck her as his hand went up to her calf.

"Why _did_ you say yes?"

His head snapped up. "What?"

"When I asked you, last night," she clarified. "In the common room, when I asked you if you wanted to… why did you say yes?"

"Er…"

"Is it the same for you?" Lily pressed. "Did you want to lose it?"

"I…" He looked lost for words.

"Because if it is, that's alright."

"It isn't. I…" James sighed and ducked his head. "I was waiting for the right person. I mean, I wasn't expecting it, you know? I thought it'd happen if…"

"Oh, Merlin," she groaned.

"No, it's alright," he reassured her, a bit too hastily for Lily to believe him. "I mean, I might have to ask you out after this but –"

She leaned forward and put her face in her hands. Oh, she was the most _wretched_ person on Earth!

His fingers left her leg and wound themselves in her hair. "Evans, it's really alright," James repeated. "Hey, look at me?"

Lily glanced up and had only a second to notice the heat in his eyes before he was kissing her, his hands in her hair on and on her shoulder and his glasses pressing up against her cheeks. She leaned forward hungrily, wrapping her arms around his neck. This had been the best part of it, she'd decided last night. James Potter was a bloody good kisser, and Lily wanted more of it.

Only…

"Your breath is horrid," she admitted, pulling away when all her oxygen was used up.

"Yours is worse." James grinned and looked down. "So that's what they look like."

It was then she realized that, while putting her arms around James, she had abandoned her hold on the sheets and, as a result, her modesty.

"Shut up," whispered Lily. She extracted herself from around him and folded her arms tightly in front of her chest.

"Nah, they're great," he said playfully. "They look just how they felt last night."

"Potter…" she warned.

He finally looked back up at her face. "I'm only trying to say you're pretty everywhere."

"Thanks."

She felt all funny inside, a different sort of funny than the night before when they'd been so strangely close. Her stomach was doing nervous, happy turns and her head was as light as a feather. Lily hadn't felt this way since… well, since James had pointed at her on his victory lap after winning the Quidditch Cup last month. Only it was a lot stronger now.

"I'm going to ask you something," James began, a wicked smile on his lips.

"What?"

"Go out with me, Evans?"

She laughed.

"Ask me later, alright? Where are my clothes?"

James reached behind him and handed her a neatly-folded pile of clothing. Lily definitely hadn't folded them the night before and wondered (with no small amount of mortification) if James had folded them for her or if it had been a house-elf. She wasn't sure which was worse.

"When is later?" he pursued. "In five minutes? After you're not starkers? At breakfast?"

"Later is later," she laughed, pulling on her knickers with some skillful maneuvering under the sheets.

"Well, I'd like some assurance that we can do this again, _sooner_ rather than later. I figure if you're my girlfriend then I've got a shot."

Lily pursed her lips in thought, trying not to giggle at his eagerness. "Later is after our Defense O.W.L.s," she decided.

His face lit up. "Really?"

"I haven't said yes, yet," Lily reminded him. She was nearly dressed. "You have to ask me nicely first."

"Oh, I will," said James. He leaned forward and kissed her again, quickly. "It'll be the nicest offer you'll ever hear, I swear it."

"Won't that be the day," she said dryly.

Nevertheless, Lily left his dorm that morning – pretending as though she'd just run up mere minutes ago when passing a fourth-year boy – she couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to hear James Potter asking her out. the thought made her grin incessantly.


End file.
